It is complicated, it is simple, it is overly dramatic, and it is a pain in the ass to try to explain what it means to be Canadian.
Canadians love to start with what we are not. We are not Americans. We are not British. We are not war mongers, we are not impolite, and we are certainly not boastful.
We like to quietly whisper that we are Canadian when someone asks us our place of origin, then immediately see if they are offended so that we can quickly apologize. We will hold open and hold up the door, the elevator, the bus, the taxi, and the waitress because we noticed they didn’t see you. We like to stand up for a cause when necessary and stand down for a cause when we don’t think it’s necessary.
We are overly proud of our celebrities, our teams, our writers and our people… but not too proud that it would offend anyone. We are quirky because we love to laugh, we make jokes to make other people laugh when they are feeling low, and we think that slapstick is hilarious.
We hate winter, though you would not know it the way the weather can carry whole conversations. We love summer because it is a punch to the gut of winter. Sometimes, if we didn’t have the weather, there would be nothing left to talk about at all.
We believe in your humanity, we are often shocked at your views, and we could care less what you think, just as long as you are not offended by that.
We are tiny in population, grand in vastness, and big of heart. We like rustic things because they remind us of the country we live in. We never back away when there is a mountain to climb, a river to cross, or an ocean to swim.
We love you even though you might not love us back. We are more loyal than Labradors, kinder than Mother Theresa, and nicer than Sunday school teachers. Offend us, though, and we will gladly fight the school bully, not for revenge, but more for the moral lesson to be taught.
I guess what Canadians are is an eclectic mix of confused nice people with who can’t seem to find their keys. But that’s alright, cause there ain’t nobody else you would want to be on your side when nobody else will be. That’s Canadian.
